Romans get their backsides kicked - again. By Everybody.

Rather than give a blow by blow description of my continued humiliation at the hands of my so called friends- I'll just provide you with loads of pictures with a caption or two- I find typing out the details of my sordid defeats too distressing to give the full details of the shame and denigration of my Romans at the hands of Gauls, Macedonians, a pack of rabid penguins, and I think the ladies from local Cup Cake making guild.....or was that the Seleucids.?..I don't defeat is pretty much the same as another- they all become a  blur in my memory. Poor Romans. Crap Generalship.
This post is therefore dedicated to the piles of Roman lead left strewn about the battlefields in recent times, self pity and self deprecation....and for my opponents....supposed friends-  they said it should be call 'The Joy of Six'.

The humiliation begins. I deployed well (in the far corner) but the enemy- Ross and Richard managed to get their elephants across (right of screen) in the nick of time and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat...what a lousy cliche- and it comes nowhere near encapsulating the angst of my despair!

My stout Romans- up and at'em lads!

The lads from the Tiber are moving fast!

The Macedonian Line.

The Equestrians..the finest cavalry on the table...well I say so anyway.

The finest cavalry on the table getting their heads kicked in by the Macedonians........oh the pain.... the pain

Close ups!

Luckily the infantry arrived to save the last of my cavalry...and my elephants too!

Both lines about to engage!

A formidable phalanx.



I like this picture so much I included it again!

My first combat roll with my infantry...YES!! 3 sixes out of 3!

Now you would think that 3 sixes would be hard to beat- that's my die roll to the right. Ross had four dice...and got 3 sixes too!! Bastard.

I couldn't believe it. I had to take a second photo in the hope that the first photo was wrong. No such luck.

Third time lucky??? chance.

Next round of melee- I have 5 dice...I rolled four sixes!! YES!!! now that's what I'm talking about!!!!
 I've gotta win this round!

Ross got to roll 7 dice...In the rules we use 6s to hit and so do double 5s.....damn it ...he got four hits too..another draw!!

This was getting ridiculous. I rolled three sixes out of four dice again!! This is no joke- we had never seen so many sixes in one evening.

Well Ross did it again- FOUR sixes......they could hear our shouts of laughter and disbelief  3 suburbs away!

At the most decisive moment - he's barely holding on...and he does it again. Look at those dice! WTF?? *&;^^&;@#$!!! More Sixes and a double five- 5 hits!! Give it rest you guys!!

The game against Ross "Antigonas One Eye" was a disaster. For once I couldn't blame my dice. I blamed Ross. It was agreed by all present that we had NEVER seen so many sixes rolled in one game! It must have broken some record somewhere........and defied the odds of probability as well.

The next game was against Ross' Gauls. If I couldn't beat his Macedonians then surely I could beat this rabble!

The advancing Gauls...a formidable sight...and the last thing many of my Hastati saw!

There's tharsands of 'em sah!

Gallic Chariots and runners.

I displayed great tactical finesse, strategic foresight and capable generalship. I plonked my arse on a hill and waited.

Clash on my left...Gallic cavalry vs my cavalry, Hastati and velites. I lost.

The thin white line!

Getting thinner by the second!

There's lots of them Consul!

In the end I stopped taking photos to document the tidal wave that engulfed my defensive position. Let it not be said that my Romans didn't go down fighting. They fought gallantly...but they went down all the same. My Romans have now had an 8 game losing streak.....anybody want to buy a very cheap Republican Roman army? Free postage too!


  1. Hi John.
    Great Pics. If it's makes you feel any better, I got floged in my last two games aswell.

    1. Thanks Spyros! I'm getting uses to being on the losing side- whether it's ancients or Force on Force against our sons!

  2. John! The photos look great and I do wish I could play Impetus.

    In FoG, I've run 2 different Gallic armies and lost nearly every game. Losses are north of 15 but who's counting. I don't know if that'll make you feel better or have a goal to shoot for. ;-)

    1. Thanks for the morale boost Monty! I've lost 9 straight as of last count with my Romans. I guess you're right...who's counting!!

  3. Very nice pictures.Great work.I will be foloowing you. :)

    1. Thank you! Welcome to the Band of Wargame Brothers!

  4. Wonderful pictures and commentary, thanks! The onslaught of the Gauls looks particularly spectacular, no wonder your Romans were sporting the brown trousers. Those photos of the phalanx are special too, worth the second look.
    Keep your chin up, things will change. I can say that first hand after a run of dramatic Roman defeats were finally 'corrected' in a mini-campaign that we ran recently.

  5. Great pictures John and fantastic commentary...a wargamer close to my own heart!!

    1. Hello Carlo! Nice to hear from you. My heart bleeds for my Romans!